come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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