so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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