oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
