he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
