Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
this hospital has no fireball
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
