i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize