I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
