Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There's even glitter on my cock...
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