Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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