We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize