If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize