so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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