I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
