I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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