Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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