this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize