I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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