Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize