and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
