i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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