have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
