me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize