This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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