Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
