I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
