There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
