oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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