I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm like, not good at living.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
