Nicole vs. Life
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
