You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
