we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
