"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
cat food counts as protein by the way
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
