I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
