You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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