not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
