my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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