You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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