every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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