Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
