THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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