this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
