im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
