Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
