It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
