Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Houston, we have a blender
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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