also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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