My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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