I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
