Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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