I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
