I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize