I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
