what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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