Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
