They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
