So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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