It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
