My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
