I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
