TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize