if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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