oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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