Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
