Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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