can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize