Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
