My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
