It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
