He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You can't motorboat a personality
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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