The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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