So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
