Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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