Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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