Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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