If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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